The Spherical Robot and the Lovestruck Fool
by Witless Pawn Bardiche
Summary: Akira Tadokoro says that a new chapter in this fanfic is up, and that the author is a dolt. Hey, wait a minute.... (reuploaded Chap. 2 because I forgot an important Author's Note.... >
1. The World's Strongest.... is not really ...

Ehem. This was NOT the plan. I repeat, this was NOT the plan. The plan was to finish up "Director's Agony". HOWEVER, Writers Block attacked that fanfic, and to make matters worse, this idea would not leave my head. Mwah. Since it takes place in the Final Chapter, I pretty much have to put a big ol' **SPOILER warning here. So, if you're not up to the Final Chapter, then this has a very high chance of ruining part of the game for you. **

**DISCLAIMER : I think everyone knows the drill by now. I don't own them. I never have, I never will.... unless you persuade Square of Japan to sell the rights to one Helen Donaldson for 50 cents. But since the chances of that working are around the same as a snowball's chance of survival in Hell, let's just say that Live-A-Live (and its characters, and etcetera) belongs to Square of Japan. Ok?**

I think that's all I have to say on this matter. So.... *pulls out her scribble book* Join me, in a tale of adventure, horror, romance and.... wait, wrong tale. Sorry. Expect the usual Buriki-Brand Stupidity here. And you know my usual warning about my difficulty of keeping the characters "In Character". I'll try, anyway. And I will be using the English translation names. Again, to avoid confusion.

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LIVE-A-LIVE - THE SPHERICAL ROBOT AND THE LOVESTRUCK FOOL

By - Helen / Buriki Daioh / Etcetera

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Hero's Peak was a cold and desolate place. Not to say that it wasn't always cold and desolate, but it was even more so with the lack of life around.... with the exception of four life forms nearby.

Standing before a large boulder was a tall young woman with long brunette hair and a scar on the right side of her face, wearing a pair of red pants and a long pink kimono. She focused on the rock, a look of sheer determination on her face. "Leave this to me." she whispered, as she raised her left leg.

"Don't fall, Lei!" a young boy with spiky blond-brown hair and a scar in the shape of a "X" on his forehead hollered. He was dressed much like a delinquent, wearing black pants with white stripes on the sides, a leather jacket and a studded scarf, among other less eye-catching items of clothing.

The girl, identified as Lei, turned towards the boy in frustration. "Damnit, Akira!" she screamed. "You just broke my concentration!".

"Well!" the boy, identified as Akira, said in a huffy tone of voice. "Sorry for trying to help you keep your balance!".

It was then that a young man with black hair, who wore a red bandanna around his head, a purple parka and a pair of mustard-coloured jeans, stepped forward. "Now come on!" he snapped. "Instead of bickering, why don't you just break the damned rock?".

Lei turned to the young man. "Masaru, if you're going to complain about this, why don't YOU try breaking this rock?" she asked, her tone of voice incredibly bitter. At this exchange, a small spherical robot with "Prototype 03 - CUBE" marked on its underside, wearing what looked like a large pair of square glasses and a red cap beeped in a somewhat frightened tone.

"Fine then, I will!" the young man, identified as Masaru, yelled back in response. He kicked the boulder.... and was rewarded for his effort with a sore foot and an unbroken boulder. Needless to say, Akira and Lei snickered to themselves at this exchange while Cube scurried over to Masaru and quickly performed "High Speed Operations" on said wrestler.

"Bah." Akira said, brushing an errant lock of hair away from his face. "World's Strongest Man, my butt.".

"At least I tried!" Masaru shot back. "You're just standing there doing absolutely nothing!". 

"I know." Akira replied, smiling serenely. "Isn't it wonderful?". There was no response to that, except for some beeping from Cube.

"Ok boys, step away and let me handle this." Lei said, motioning for Masaru and Cube to move away from the boulder. The robot was only too happy to do so, but the wrestler had his objections.

"Humph. You're a woman. If I couldn't break the rock, then neither can you...." Masaru grumbled.

Lei glared at Masaru in response. "Excuse me, but this woman would have destroyed Roller over there if it didn't fight back." she stated, pointing to Cube, who let out an offended beep.

"That means jack schitt!" Masaru retorted. "I'm the World's Strongest! If I can't break it, then neither can....".

"MOVE IT!" Lei interrupted, shoving Masaru away from the rock with all her might.

At this exchange, Akira whistled. "Woo, looks like we have a lover's spat!" he said, trying his best to hold back his laughter. "Cube, I think we better get out of here, and leave the lovers to sort this out themselves!". 

Masaru picked up Cube - whom was beeping in protest at this sudden turn of events - and positioned it above Akira's head. "One more word about Lei and I being lovers, psycho, and I drop the 'bot." he growled, unamused at the mind reader's cracks.

_Man, Akira, you really stepped into it this time.... Akira thought, trying to figure out a way to get out of this situation. __What is he thinking, trying to use Cube as a weapon? Then he got an idea, and he focused intently on Masaru, his eyes glowing in the process._

_He better make a crack about us being lovers again soon. This thing is HEAVY. Masaru thought, not knowing that Akira had just read his mind._

"You know...." Akira said casually, tapping his foot on the ground, "You don't HAVE to hold Cube above my head. When I make a crack, you can always pick it up and drop it on me then.". Realizing that Akira had a point, Masaru placed Cube on the ground, much to the relief of the robot.

"True, that. I could always deck you like so...." Masaru said, making a motion to punch Akira in the face. However, the unmistakable sound of a boulder splitting apart interrupted his action. He turned towards the source of the sound to see that Lei had indeed broken the boulder.

"Shocked?" Lei asked, in a mocking tone.

Akira smirked. "Well, well, well. Looks like a woman is stronger than the World's Strongest!" he said teasingly.

"Shut up." Masaru grumbled. "Just shut up."

Cube scurried over to where the boulder formerly stood, and focused on the entrance that was made. It beeped in amazement, before scurrying into the newly made entrance. 

"I knew there had to be a reason why that rock was there." Lei said to herself. "Well, no use just standing here, right?". She followed Cube into the entrance.

Masaru chose not to comment on the new entrance, but instead followed Lei and Cube into the entrance, grumbling incoherently at being upstaged by a woman, of all people.

Akira stood, thought to himself, and glanced around.... before realizing that he was alone. "Hey, wait up!" he screamed, chasing after his cohorts.

And on a mountain elsewhere in this area, the Demon King Odio could be seen beating his head on the large statue nearby. _Good grief.... all the heroes I had to bring here, and it just had to be those idiots.... he thought to himself bitterly._

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There. The idea scurried out of my head, so I have to leave you all on a cliffhanger. *groans can be heard* Still, it gave the old Writer's Block on "Director's Agony" a good shoving, so you'll either see Part 3 of that or Part 2 of this pretty soon. My notes -

* Akira's HARD to write. But then, I always did have difficulty with writing dialogue and such for badasses such as him. *sweatdrop*

* Mwaha, Masaru is fun to write, though. I don't know why, he just is. 

* Yeah, I support Masaru/Lei. I don't know why, but I think they'd be perfect for each other. (But that's just me.) Considering that this is a fandom where Boy/Girl pairings are rare in the Japanese fandom (with possible exception of Pogo/Beru).... *coughs*

* I'm sure that you can see where THIS one's going, ne....? I'll see what I can do with it, though. 

You know the review drill by now. Reviews are welcome, constructive criticism is welcome, but flames will be laughed at and beaten mercilessly with a stick. And before you ask, I am not sane, and I don't take drugs.  And now that I am done with that, I shall go to sleep! *walks off*


	2. The educational properties of a.... bick...

Well, Writer's Block crawled back to "Director's Agony", so you're stuck with the second part of.... um, what can I call this one in short? I know, I'll call it "SRaLF". You know, when I say that in real life, it sounds funny! So I'll call it "SRaLF". Whee. I'm sure some of you are wondering how I can make this just as good a read as Part 1 was, and my answer is - "I won't try.". Oh yes, can't forget the obligatory **SPOILER warning.**

**DISCLAIMER : vague statement Live-A-Live does NOT belong to me. /vague statement**

Is that all I can say about this fic at the moment? *checks* Yes. Mwaha!

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LIVE-A-LIVE - "THE SPHERICAL ROBOT AND THE LOVESTRUCK FOOL" (Part 2)

By - Helen / Buriki Daioh / Etcetera

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The opening formerly covered by the now-broken boulder was in fact, a form of cavern. This cavern was surprisingly well lit, even though there was no sign of a light source nearby. Lei was leading the quartet through the cavern, with Cube only centimeters away from her. Akira was a few feet away from the small robot, and Masaru was deliberately walking at a slow pace.

Akira glanced over his shoulder. "You're going to have to get over the fact that Lei broke a rock you couldn't sooner or later, Masaru." he stated, but got bitter silence as a reply. "Masaru, you were supposed to respond with something like 'Akira, I'm tired of your crap'...."  he said, as though he was trying to have a meaningful conversation with thin air. Again, he got no response. "Gees. The least you could have done was grunted.".

Lei had chosen to ignore the mind-reader for the time being. Her attention was focused on another large boulder. After a while of having a sort of meaningless staring contest with the boulder, she had come to a conclusion. "I don't know any techniques that could split this rock...." she murmured.

"Why not? You broke the rock that got us into this place fine enough...." Masaru grumbled in a bitter tone.

"Like the badly dressed boy over there said, Masaru, you have to get over that sooner or later." Lei responded, unimpressed at the wrestler's protest. 

"HEY!" Akira protested. "So what if I don't like wearing shirts or if the majority of my clothing is leather-based? I like it that way!". Cube had to keep itself from bursting out into a fit of robotic laughter at the stupidity of this exchange.

Masaru had a comment for Akira's outburst, but he quickly decided it was inappropriate, and instead focused his attention on Lei. "If you knew what it felt like to have your ego completely torn apart, Lei, you'd understand my bitterness completely." he stated. Lei and Akira recoiled in shock at Masaru having said something that could be considered intelligent for once in his life. 

Some time passed in silence, as the four continued through the cave until another boulder was found.

"This rock...." Lei said to herself, walking up to it. She reached out and stroked it, as though in a trance, and then quickly took a step backwards. She focused, before swiftly kicking the boulder. However, this boulder still remained intact. "My technique isn't working...." she murmured. The martial artist then tried a wide variety of Shinsaken Martial Arts techniques on the boulder.

"Enjoy it while it lasts, Masaru." Akira said with a wink and a delirious grin.

"Oh, I am...." Masaru sighed in sick, twisted contentment, until a second meaning of what the mind-reader had said hit him. "Hey wait...." he said suspiciously. "You're not trying to imply Lei and I are lovers again, are you?".

Akira kept grinning deliriously. "Nah." he said. "I'm implying that you're a perv.".

"Why you....!" Masaru screamed. He leapt towards Cube, but the robot had already learnt the trick and quickly zipped across the ground, away from the wrestler's grasp. "Akira, you have done nothing but annoy me this whole trip!" he screamed once again. "Once I catch the round thing, you're getting it!". 

Akira stopped grinning and raised an eyebrow. "Oh?" he said in an innocent tone. "And what have I done to displease you?".

Although Masaru was currently occupied with trying to catch Cube - who kept evading the wrestler's grasp - he still chose to reply to Akira's question. "Where do I start?" he snarled, before bursting out into another fit of screaming. "For starters, when we first found you, you were wearing women's panties, for crying out loud!".

"You say you're Japanese, Masaru." Akira said, unimpressed by the wrestler's logic. "Since you're Japanese, wouldn't you understand that habit?". He couldn't help but smirk a little. "Or were you too busy in the local gym to even know what people do with panties?".

"I don't care!" Masaru shot back. "Then you kept reading our minds, and taunting us about our secrets! You should know that you're not supposed to do that!".

"But it's fun, right?" Akira replied, still smirking. "And you DID say you wanted to know Lei's....".

"Shut up!" Masaru quickly said before Lei could react to this sort of conversation. "Then you keep getting knocked out in battle all the damn time....".

"So do you." Akira retorted snidely.

"And you got us stuck in some form of dungeon where we almost got eaten by those snake-people...." Masaru continued. "Wait, what were they called again?".

"Ishtars." Akira said. "And I assure you, it was completely accidental. If I wanted to do that, I'd have sent only you there.".

"There's another reason, you're a cheeky little son of a b...." Masaru said, but....

"I'd like to think that my mother was a NICE woman, thank you very much!" Akira interrupted, having taken offense to Masaru's most recent reason.

"Then there was the time you tried to get me into a silver dress!" Masaru continued, still unable to catch the small robot.

"Um, Masaru?" Akira questioned in a confused tone. "Lei tried to get you in that dress, not me.".

"WHATEVER!". It was clear that Masaru was getting greatly annoyed with his reasons for why Akira annoyed him continually contradicted.

Lei sighed in irritation, having given up trying to break the boulder in front of her while the bantering behind her took place. "Would you boys PLEASE be quiet?" she asked, not trying to hide the tone of irritation in her voice.

"Yes ma'am...." Akira said in an insincere tone. Masaru grunted in reply, and Cube beeped for around two milliseconds until it realized that the martial artist wasn't talking to it.

Lei rolled her eyes, but said nothing. Instead, she tried another technique on the boulder. She twirled around and hit the boulder as hard as she possibly could, causing the boulder to shatter. Before she could react, however, Masaru had chased Cube into the newly opened passage. "Eh, they'll be back." she said, an overly confident smirk on her face.

"And what makes you think that?" Akira asked, somehow not willing to read Lei's mind at this moment.

"Well...." Lei started to say, but some frantic beeping and a cry of "HOLY CRAP!" interrupted her, followed by a panicked wrestler and a panicked robot making their way back to where the boulder was shattered. "Told you so." Lei stated bluntly, winking to Akira. "Now, what did you guys just see?" she asked, having turned to Masaru.

"It's horrible...." Masaru whimpered. "It's ghastly, and should be put out of its misery.... It's....".

Akira stepped into the passage, took a look around before seeing what the wrestler was talking about, and stepped out again. "For Buriki Daioh's sake, Masaru, it's a human being!" he yelled.

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Eh, Writer's Block decided to step in for this part. Nice timing, Writer's Block. REALLY. /sarcasm And, the obligatory Author's Notes -

* For all of you worried that I may have somewhat self-inserted myself in there, I didn't. Buriki Daioh is actually the giant Mecha which Akira controls for the last battles in his chapter. (I'm sure the sheer majority of you already knew that, however.)

* For all of you worried about "Director's Agony", I haven't forgotten about it. It's just coming along REALLY slowly. 

* For all of you worried that this will turn into a romance fic, I'll do my best to keep that from happening - you see, I can't write romance AT ALL.

* I don't know WHAT brought on the Masaru/Akira bicker moment. Really, I don't. o_o;;

* To answer the question of IN.DO.GU.TSU .... if you haven't figured it out yet, I don't really want to spoil the surprise. ~_~;; Hint, though - the main's not Masaru.

* And the Silver Dress thing is an inside joke. See, it's an armour you can get in the Final Chapter which has…. mediocre defensive properties, but can raise I.Q. Of course, Masaru has the lowest I.Q out of all of my party. Mwaaaah.

So.... Part 3 will DEFINETLY be the last part of this deranged little plot bunny. For now, though, you'll just have to settle for this chapter. You know the drill about feedback.... seeya at Part 3! (Hey, I didn't say Part 3 of WHICH series.... :P)


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